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I Don't Wanna Hurt

by Eli Conley

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about

I wrote this song when I was dealing with a lot of chronic pain due to a repetitive stress injury from playing guitar. I had to be very careful about not overtaxing my body, and even then there was no guarantee about what would happen. Chronic pain is unpredictable, and you don’t always know whether you’ve overdone it until the next day. I remember hiking through the East Bay hills, singing loudly: “ I don’t wanna hurt anymore, I don’t wanna hurt.”

lyrics

I know it will take time to heal my wounds
But I wish it were sooner cause I’m in pain
I know that everybody’s got an answer
An uncle who had cancer till magic came
But I have tried all of the doctors folks suggest
So now I think it’s time to let my body rest

I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt

I play guitar and feel the sharp wave comin’
Soon my hands are hummin’ with this ache
I go right on because these songs are not a choice
If I don’t use my voice I might just break
And so I keep on muscling through and I ignore
That every minute that I spend leaves me more sore

I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt

I still remember how it felt when I was young
Hard not to wonder if this means that I am done

I’m trying to let myself get quiet
And listen to the silence of the dirt
When I do I hear that I don’t have to worry
But if I try to hurry it won’t work
And so I listen to the way my body feels
While I keep searching for the ways that I can heal

I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
I don’t wanna hurt anymore

credits

released May 19, 2023
Written by Eli Conley
Guitar & Lead Vocals - Eli Conley
Cello - Conrad Sisk
Violin - Joel Price
Upright Bass - James Touzel
Background Vocals - Joel Price & Briget Boyle
Background Vocal Arrangement - Joel Price

Recorded at Tiny Telephone Studios
Engineered & Mixed by Maryam Qudus
Co-Produced by Eli Conley & Maryam Qudus
Mastered by Jacob Winik

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all rights reserved

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Eli Conley Sacramento, California

​Eli Conley is an indie folk singer-songwriter and activist based in Sacramento, CA. He makes music for queer and trans folks, justice seekers, and anyone who doesn’t fit easily in a box. Eli's voice is tender and heartfelt, with melodies and that can leave you feeling teary-eyed yet hopeful. As a gay trans man from the South, his songs tell stories that aren’t always reflected in roots music. ... more

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